P R O F E S S I O N A L . . . C O N T R O L L E R S
Networking - To Build Relationships © 1995
by Adrian W. Hollander, C.P.A., CISA,
CIA, CBA, CFSA,
President of COMPLUS Inc. – Professional Controllers
Why should we want
to network? -- What do you want -- a job, a favor, customers, some information,
an introduction, ... ??? Go to any of
the dozens of “networking” meetings held in the Chicago area each day,
introduce yourself, and get that for which you're looking -- right? WRONG !!!
Nothing hard is ever easy.
Building the relationships we need, to get what we want, takes much more
time and effort.
By the way, what
is a network, and how does one work?
It's knowing people who know other people and who will share their
contacts. Larry Maier, President of
American Business Interlink (a networking business), says, "Most of us are
only six contacts from reaching everyone in the world." He has told me several times what the
contact chain (through him) would be for me to reach Nelson Mandella or Henry
Kissinger. I now know more than 1000
people who, I think, would readily return my phone calls. If we assume that an average person knows
only 100 others, theoretically with only three contacts (a friend of a friend
of a friend) we could reach any of 1,000,000 different people. But, you say, lots of people know the same
people. OK, I expect that those
duplicates would be offset by some of our contacts who know many more than 100
others. How effective might your
network be? It depends on who those
people are. Can you list your 500
closest friends? (If you can, use a computer
to keep track of them.)
No matter where we
are or what we are doing, we should realize that we are always networking. We are either building one or tearing it
apart. Consider just our vocabulary in conversation. The words we use mean things. For positive networking we want to develop
feelings of belonging, alliance, and unity of purpose. Third person plural pronouns (them, they,
their) sound unfriendly and impersonal.
"Us vs. them" is a classic reference to an adversarial
situation. "They" are
usually the enemy. When it's "their"
problem, we need not get involved. The
second person pronoun (you) sounds bossy or aloof. Advice is often given beginning with "you should
..." The giver seems to be
"above it all" or otherwise not a participant in the process. First person plural pronouns (we, our, us)
are usually understood to be inclusive and often stimulate "warm,
fuzzy" feelings. "We"
can reach our individual goals more easily when "we" work
together as a team. "Our"
leaders' duties are to help "us" help each other. Using the telephone more can help "us"
to stay in touch when meeting face-to-face is inconvenient.
Let's consider how
we really feel about each other? Are we
colleagues or competitors, or more bluntly -- friends or foes? Friends do things together. Friends share things. Friends confide in each other. Friends help each other. Friends count on each other. Friends trust each other. Foes are suspicious of each other. Foes avoid contact. Foes may fight when contact is made. Foes only trust the other to try to do harm
at any opportunity. Considering the
high probability for changing circumstances in the work place we who may think
of each other as foes "today" may need to be friends
"tomorrow." Some of us now
work in situations where we may compete for the same job, customer or
client. Maybe we can't be friends with
everybody at the same time. To be
friends with whom we can takes work.
Personal contact is necessary.
It is disappointing to observe that many civic and social organizations,
which used to provide those opportunities, are fighting to maintain traditional
levels of participation. My informal
surveys indicate that many of them are competing with "nothing," and
losing. Our attendance at meetings once
a year, or worse yet just when we want something, is hardly enough to build
useful relationships. Friend or foe,
(???); heck, most of us are just
strangers.
How can we build a
network? Work at it deliberately. Be aware that many of us have been taught, beginning
in childhood, to be suspicious of strangers.
Newcomers, like "party crashers," are usually not
readily welcomed. Coming with a
sponsor, though, tends to de-fuse the conditioning that a stranger is a
threat. Find some activities to which
you are willing to make a long-term (years, not weeks) commitment. Just paying dues money does not make you a
"member" of a group if you never appear. Volunteer -- we have to give to get. Be a team player -- help others.
Keep your promises. Be
consistent. Ace Fair, who hosts
"Ace's Business Network A'Fair," says that for a network to work
"we must know, like, and trust each other." That takes time. Caution
-- being well known may not be enough to have a useful network. An advertising agency executive and friend
told me many years ago, "The best way to kill a bad product is with good
publicity." What do you think your
"friends" would say about you when they think you are not listening?
What influenced
me? Being a CPA, I have simply skills
and integrity to sell. A business
competitor told me, about 25 years ago, "Accountants are the world's worst
sales people." I have gathered
little evidence since then to change his opinion. We seem to attract people to this profession who are analytical
and introverted rather than caring and social.
Too often it seems, we live down to our stereotype. Some of us are different,
though.
Almost 10 years
ago I was a member of a task force at the Illinois CPA Society to start
Industry/Business Forum Groups. Some of
us thought that it would be a good idea for more CPA's to know each other
better. The formally created member
services of our professional society are very valuable, but sometimes we need
more, a "friend" with contacts.
A CPA working as a corporate employee may be professionally
isolated. Attending the required 40
hours of CPE (continuing professional education) classes each year, though
important, did not seem to offer enough opportunity for interaction. While discussing the needs to be served by
these groups, it became even more obvious (to me, at least) that if we want a
network when we're 40, we have to start when we are 25.
How did I do
it? I have lived in the Beverly Hills
neighborhood of Chicago for 25 years. I
got acquainted initially by going to a local church. With an introduction from work I volunteered to help with Beverly
Improvement Association. As my children
grew, I volunteered to help with school groups, athletic programs and Boy
Scouts in which they participated.
After about 10 years I knew enough people to open doors by myself or
find someone to introduce me. After my
children graduated from high school, I became more active in Beverly Area
Planning Association (BAPA), Illinois CPA Society, and Beverly Ridge Lions
Club. I still regularly attend the same
local church. I was a director of
Beverly Improvement Association for 17 years.
I have been a member of Boy Scout Troop 608 Committee for 20 years. I was a member of the BAPA Council of
Delegates for 5 years. I have been an
active committee member or Chapter officer for the Illinois CPA Society for 18
years. I have been an active member of
Beverly Ridge Lions Club for 8 years and served a term as Club President. There have been other activities of shorter
duration, but I hope you get the picture.
I believe that it's important to be involved with my community, but
doing volunteer work just for promoting one's business would be a bad
reason. My activities, frankly, have
cost me a lot of time and money, and they haven't been a good source of
business either. They have been (and
still are) fun, though, and I hope that those with whom I have served would
agree that I have been helpful.
My "real
jobs" have put me in contact with people from about 200 different
companies around the country and about the same number in the Chicago area
alone. Belonging to networking groups
like American Business Interlink and Ace's Business Network A'Fair keeps adding
to the diversity of the people I know (and who know me). If you want to "check me out,"
there are lots of sources. Whatever
they say about me, I hope I can live down.
Ha!
If my only reason
for "networking" were to get paying work (quickly), I should really
wonder about its efficiency. I think
that the "old boy network" legend is history, if it ever were true. (Maybe that's one of the reasons for why so
many organizations seem to be losing their support.) Some of my network contacts have become references when
potential clients respond to my more direct sales techniques. Occasionally I do get a referral to produce
a client. Much more often my contacts
are sources of "free" information and other favors. (We do need to remember, though, that help
may be worth what we pay for it, if we're lucky.) I know that am more able to help my paying clients because of
whom I know. It sometimes feels as if I
give more than I get (I'm a great source for "free" advice and
referrals), but a pendulum swings both ways.
I believe that
"networking" is an investment.
We shouldn't give up, even if short-term returns are discouraging. We can't have too many friends!
send e-mail to: AHollan700@aol.com